Armenian Shades of Toxic Masculinity or in Search of a “Real Armenian Man”

Grigor Yeritsyan, “Armenian Progressive Youth” NGO

Only 19% of men in Armenia prefer their first child to be a girl (Armenia Country Gender Assessment, 2024)¹. 75% of Armenian men believe that it is better for preschool children to have a stay-at-home mother. Every fourth man forbids his wife to work (Handbook for engaging men and boys for gender equality, 2023)⁵. According to 44% of men, a woman should tolerate violence in order to preserve the family. 61% believe that if a woman betrays, she deserves to be beaten (Men and Gender Equality in Armenia, 2016)¹⁰.

These perceptions of men are just a few examples of the manifestation of toxic masculinity in Armenian reality. Although the term “toxic masculinity” is rarely encountered in Armenian socio-political discourse, its diverse manifestations can be observed in all spheres of life: from family to labor market, from business to politics. Despite this, there are no comprehensive studies on masculinity in Armenia.

What is Toxic Masculinity?

Discussions about toxic masculinity began in the 1980s, and the term has been used more broadly since the 2000s to describe the traditional and stereotypical norms of masculinity that shape men’s lives. These include expectations from men to be aggressive, tough, bold, and dominant (Flood, 2019)⁴. Toxic masculinity is a set of male characteristics, including a need to compete and dominate others (Kupers, Toxic Masculinity as a Barrier to Mental Health Treatment in Prison 2005 – https://bit.ly/3Zuan2O, 2005)⁵.

Toxic masculinity is a type of masculinity that harms the well-being of society through violence, misogyny, greed, and other oppressive means (Kupers, Toxic Masculinity as a Barrier to Mental Health Treatment in Prison, 2005)⁶. In other words, toxic masculinity encompasses the perceptions of being a “real man” that are detrimental to both women and men.

However, not all forms of masculinity are toxic or harmful. Manifestations of toxic masculinity include behaviors such as men abusing alcohol, driving under its influence to prove their masculinity, or provoking conflicts to appear strong.

Vulnerability is incompatible with masculinity. Being a “real man” excludes the possibility of men being vulnerable or experiencing fear or a sense of danger. On the contrary, a “real man” is expected to be physically strong and aggressive, maintain control over his family and social circles, and resolve conflicts through the use of force and violence.

In contrast, empathy, caring, and being emotional are considered “weakness” and therefore incompatible with being a “real man.” These distorted perceptions are imposed on society by media and political actors, and both women and men perpetuate them.

Armenian Shades of Toxic Masculinity

When discussing Armenian masculinity, it is important to emphasize that public discourse in Armenia reveals a gap in perceptions of masculinity and a search for masculine “ideals” (A. Kojoyan, 2016)¹². A “real Armenian man” should be a good son and father, a strict husband and loyal friend, a brave soldier and defender of the homeland. An Armenian man is the hope and pride of his parents, the defender of his family and homeland: dignified and generous, reliable and resilient, responsible and principled.

Pop culture and media largely romanticize and promote these perceptions, criminal subcultures, aggression, and male-dominant behavior, presenting them as heroic elements of Armenian male behavior. From an early age, boys are taught that vulnerability is not “manly” and that a man must constantly prove his strength.

A 2023 survey in Armenia revealed that men do not have a clear idea of masculinity. However, they do have some associations that directly link them to masculinity. For the majority, masculinity is primarily associated with such characteristics as strength, power, aggressiveness, rationality, responsibility, courage, boldness, seriousness, determination, restraint, etc. (APY, 2023)¹⁴.

Such perceptions of a “real man” are, of course, not typical only to Armenia, but in newly independent Armenia, perceptions of masculinity were formed especially in the context of war and ongoing security challenges. The image of a soldier holds special significance in Armenian society, as men are largely socialized as the future defender of the nation, the guardian of the honor and dignity of the homeland and their own family.

Toxic masculinity is closely intertwined with militarism (Masculinities in the South Caucasus: Forms, Hierarchies, and Challenges, 2024)⁹. While war is primarily about brutality and loss, in war societies, the use of violence and force by men against adversaries is encouraged and glorified. Like any war, the decades-long conflict and military actions in Armenia have required the creation of a myth linking the nation’s strength to the “masculinity” and patriotism of its defenders and the role of women is portrayed as supporting the heroes fighting for victory on the front lines.

A man’s duty is considered to “protect” women and children, and serving in the army is the only way to “become a man.” This myth marginalizes all alternative discourses that emphasize diplomacy, negotiations, empathy, or understanding the adversary’s position, which in turn lead to peace, tolerance, and reconciliation. The military sector, by its nature, is based on masculinized and violence-promoting structures and relationships (M. Khalatyan, 2024)¹⁵.

The perception of a “real Armenian man” is also intertwined with criminal and delinquent culture. In the 1990s, the criminal value system was not only presented as another type of “norm”, but also became part of mass pop culture, as television and other tools of show business openly began to popularize and romanticize it, particularly through numerous films and TV series (Grigoryan, 2024)¹³. The criminal subculture in Armenia is still preserved as a social phenomenon, and is also significantly represented in the political field (Grigoryan, 2024)¹³.

The formation of men’s perceptions of masculinity is influenced by family, environment, “street”, education, media, workplace, army, religion, etc. In the context of toxic masculinity, the role of a child’s father—or in the father’s absence, a grandfather, uncle, or elder brother—is particularly significant, as boys value the influence of an older, mature, and authoritative male figure (APY, 2023)¹⁴.

The Impact of Toxic Masculinity on Men and Women

The primary victims of toxic masculinity are women. Toxic masculinity reinforces and fuels a culture of violence—violence against children, women, and men. Between 2010 and 2020, at least 83 women were murdered by their partner or spouse in Armenia (Country Gender Profile Armenia, 2021)². An OSCE study conducted in Armenia in 2011 showed that about 60% of Armenian women have been subjected to domestic violence at least once in their lives (Domestic Violence Survey in the Republic of Armenia, 2011)³, and in the first 10 months of 2023, about 1,600 cases of domestic violence against women and girls were registered in Armenia (Some 1,600 cases of violence against women and girls reported in Armenia, 2023)¹¹.

Although it may seem paradoxical, toxic masculinity is oppressive and harmful not only for women, but also for men themselves, who strive to meet society’s unrealistic expectations of them as “real men.” A number of studies have proven the negative impact of toxic masculinity on men’s mental and physical health. For example, men who adhere to traditional gender stereotypes are less likely to seek professional help for health problems (Kupers, Toxic Masculinity as a Barrier to Mental Health Treatment in Prison, 2005)⁷, as they do not want to appear weak in society’s eyes. Men often overestimate their health, feel embarrassed to admit they are unwell, and refuse medical care to avoid accepting their “own weaknesses” (Men and Gender Equality in Armenia: Report of Sociological Study, 2016)¹⁶. Such men also tend to avoid showing love or affection towards their wives and children.

Men who, for various reasons, do not meet society’s expectations of being a “real man”—those who have not served in the army, are far from criminal subcultures, have different style, or are not heterosexual—are generally subjected to ridicule and marginalization, which in turn can contribute to mental health problems, drug and alcohol abuse, etc.

From Toxic Masculinity to Healthy Masculinity

Critically addressing toxic masculinity is not against men, on the contrary, it is for their own benefit. The restrictive norms of toxic masculinity negatively impact on men’s emotional and social development and mental health, causing health problems and disrupting their relationships with family members and loved ones.

While the harmful consequences of toxic masculinity are undeniable, it is essential to note that not all forms of masculinity are toxic. Acknowledging the existence of toxic masculinity and understanding its negative impact allows us to promote healthier forms of masculinity.

Healthy masculinity is based on empathy, emotional intelligence, and peaceful conflict resolution. In different countries of the world, including Armenia, there is a small number of individuals and organizations that have begun to redefine the meaning of being a man, focusing on engaging men in the processes of men’s health, gender equality, and violence prevention.

The “Redefining Masculinity” Project, implemented in Armenia since 2023, for example, aims to engage men and boys in promoting gender equality and combating violence. Within the framework of the Project, young men aged 18 to 25 learn to express their feelings, seek support when needed, reject violence, break harmful stereotypes and challenge traditional perceptions of masculinity.

Another initiative in Armenia, the “Fathers’ School” series of thematic discussions and meetings, aims to create safe spaces for men in Gyumri, Vanadzor, and Ijevan to become more engaged fathers and supportive partners by acquiring new knowledge and skills. In this way, the organizers contribute to changing stereotypes about the roles of women and men.

Promoting healthier forms of masculinity certainly requires collective efforts from individuals, parents, educational institutions, and non-governmental organizations, but transforming toxic masculinity is impossible if men do not recognize and accept its existence and its destructive impact on their lives and the health of their loved ones. In this regard, it is crucial to emphasize that gender issues are not solely women’s concerns, and men need to be included in conversations about masculinity, gender norms, gender-based violence, sexuality, reproductive health, childcare, and equal distribution of household responsibilities. Without the active involvement and participation of men, continuous education and healing, it is impossible to talk about gender equality or violence prevention.

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